Woodies Hockey
 

Roster

Photo

First

Last

Position

 

Jersey

Weird-People-Around-the-World-10 Paul Osgood Goalie   1
One of the first engines to appear in The Railway Series books, Paul is engine number 3 on the railway and is painted green with red stripes. In Season 1, Paul looks much like Gordon and often suffered from boiler trouble due to design flaws and so he needs special Welsh coal to operate properly. He then has an accident when pulling The Flying Kipper caused by ice and snow, after which he undergoes extensive reconstruction, giving him a new shape. Paul often takes goods trains or the express when Gordon is away. Paul is sometimes pompous, sensitive, moody and depressed, but he is very intelligent. Paul also works at night, taking loads of fish on the Flying Kipper throughout Sodor.

Nick

O'Brien

Forward

 

2

Ever since the operation, Nick has been much more in touch with his body.  Drawing on his vast personal experience, he hosts a radio talk show exploring male-female relationships. 

Bill

Elberty

Defense

 

3

Born in 1918 behind a fruit stand off what is now Exit 3 of the Jersey Turnpike, Bill Elberty is the Woodie's anchor on defense.  "Anchor" as in to weigh down.  Wild Bill skates without a facemask in hopes of improving his looks by a stick to the forehead.  While legend has it that Bill Elberty was a fierce competitor and leader of the St. Lawrence hockey team, research shows his only competition was keeping water bottles filled, and the only leadership position he held was Sergeant-at-Arms of the Geology Club, where he was affectionately known as Box of Rox.   Bill is the Principal of the Hogwarts School for Magick and Wizardry, where he constantly is putting out fires.  He has a lovely wife (proving love is blind) and his son Liam has a head of hair you have to see to believe (proving yet again that genes relating to hair growth do, in fact, skip generations).Bill recently accepted the position as Upper Valley spokes-model for Viagra, boasting, "It isn't so hard to play hard."

Dave Fitts Forward   4Dave Fitts
Dave is the Chairman of the Workers' Party and supreme leader of the Democratic People's Republic. Dave is the third and youngest son of Kim Jong-il and his consort Ko Yong-hui.  Little is known for certain about Dave. Before taking power, Dave had barely been seen in public, and many of the activities of both Dave and his government remain shrouded in secrecy. Even details such as what year he was born, and whether he did indeed attend a Western school under a pseudonym, are difficult to confirm with certainty.

Dave

Bouthillier

Forward

 

6

Dave Bouthillier is an American educator, Presbyterian minister, songwriter, author, and television host. Dave is most famous for creating and hosting Mister Boots' Neighborhood, featuring his gentle, soft-spoken personality and directness to his audiences. Dave became an indelible American icon of children's entertainment and education, as well as a symbol of compassion, patience, and morality.

 

Squidward.png Matt Brown Forward   8

Matt Brown is portrayed as being careless, ill-tempered, pretentious, cynical, and grouchy, residing in a moai situated in between SpongeBob SquarePants's pineapple house and Patrick Star's rock, to his misfortune. He intensely despises his neighbors for their perpetual laughter and constant boisterous, noisy behavior and play, though the pair are oblivious to Brown's animosity for them and see him as a friend. Brown also lives in a neverending state of self-pity and misery, aggravated and unhappy with the humdrum lifestyle he currently leads, and yearns for celebrity status, wealth, and a far more glamorous and distinguished career as a celebrated hockey player or clarinet musician net.

Jean-Luc Maynard Foraward   9

Jean-Luc is famous for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enables him to ”sing” at will. Performances include sound effects of cannon fire and thunderstorms, as well as "'O Sole Mio.”

 

Ray

Rice

Everything

 

11

On planet Wooduranus born Ray was.  When to hockey it comes, "Do hockey or Do Not hockey; there is no Try." Approximately 900 years old. he is widely considered to be the greatest Jedi of all time. Efforts at training the Woodie Jedi have fallen flat. Back from sabbatical now Ray is.

Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow Chris Gogan     12
Chris Gogan is an American professional wrestler, mixed martial artist, and former collegiate amateur wrestler and former United States Army sergeant currently signed to both Bellator MMA, where he is undefeated through four heavyweight fights, and Total Nonstop Action Wrestling.

John

Chester

Defense

 

13

John is a magical demon accidentily created (or quitely likely, summoned) by Bibidi. The word "Chester" comes in many forms these include (and are not limited to) Kid Buu, Fat Buu, Evil Buu, Super Buu, Super Buu with Gotenks, Super Buu with Gohan, Uub, Majuub, Muscular Kid Buu, and Piccolo Buu. John's attacks include the Vanishing Ball, turning himself into a cannonball, Kamehameha, Special Beam Cannon, Ki blasts, stretching himself, Super Ghost Kamikaze Attack, and many more (basically any attacks that the person he absorbs has). Essentially he is the most powerful villain in Dragon Ball Z and has the broadest range of attacks and abilities in Dragon Ball history.

Dave Matz Forward   13

Dave Matz, the once promising young poet, has decided after reading many literary journals, that mediocrity is the way to go. No one was brilliant enough to understand his allusions to the classical mythologies of ancient civilizations, his personal theories of metaphysics, or his unique insight into the human condition. Instead, journals have elected to publish his drunken scrawlings written on napkins at dive bars, which he then drunk-types when he comes home alone from happy hours at various establishments. The other nights, little writing gets done.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/expats/expats_news/article1074776.ece Jason Young Forward   14
Jason is the first Telewoodie. and the largest, covered in purple terrycloth, with a triangular antenna on his head. He is notable for an ever present red handbag and cannon of a slapshot.

Josh Bouthillier Forward   17
Born in year 10,134 A.G., Josh is the son of Elrood IX and the 81st member of House Corrino to occupy the Golden Lion Throne. Josh's closest friend is the assassin Count Hasimir Fenring, a cousin and childhood companion. Josh has five daughters — the Princesses Irulan, Chalice, Wensicia, Josifa, and Rugi — and no legal sons. His wife Anirul, a Bene Gesserit of Hidden Rank, died in 10,176 A.G.
Courtney Lowe Forward    

Courtney Lowe, born July 2, 1992, in London, is a English model.  The 6’2” looker was discovered while working at ‘Abercrombie & Fitch’ in Central London. With solid features and lean physique, Lowe quickly grabbed the attention of photographers and casting directors alike. Courtney has graced the pages of GQ, stared in campaigns for Dsquared and walked the runway for Calvin Klein, Bottega Veneta and Phillipp Plein.

Adam Larson Forward    
Adam Larson was born in London 28 November 1772, the first child of Robert and Elizabeth He was a successful businessman and stanch Quaker. Adam attended a Quaker school in Burford, Oxfordshire, then apprenticed at a retail chemist in Stockport, Manchester. He became a pharmacist, chemist, and meteorologist. He developed a system for naming clouds, three principal categories: cumulus, stratus, and cirrus. Plus, compound names for transitional clouds such as cirrostratus and stratocumulus. He was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society.

Dave

Riley

Forward  

21

Each day, Dave Riley self-medicates by watching animated ponies have magical adventures. He loves his daily fix of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, and he’s not alone. “I can’t believe this show is so good, then I can’t believe I’ve become a fan for life, then I can’t believe I'm asking for the girl’s toy in our Happy Meal."
Header

Ian

Debevoise

Anywhere  

 

There’s nothing about L'il Debby that’s not a paradox. He wears women’s Uggs but travels with AR-15’s everywhere he goes. He calls his friends, the same ones carrying the AR-15’s, “babe” and “lover” yet is from one of the toughest parts of Woodstock—the south side—where he is at once a hero and an outsider and a leader of the psychedelic fashion movement of rap hippies.
Al Sorrentino Forward    
Al Sorrention is an American business magnate, investor and philanthropist. He is considered by some to be one of the most successful investors in the world. Sorrentino is the chairman, CEO and largest shareholder of Woodie Hathaway, and is consistently ranked among the world's most influential people. Sorrentino is often referred to as the "Wizard of Woodstock."

 

WOODIE ALUMNI:

Jon Tokarski Goalie   1

Tokarski is a German-born theoretical physicist who developed the general theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of modern physics (alongside quantum mechanics).  While best known for his mass–energy equivalence formula E = mc2 (which has been dubbed "the world's most famous equation"), he received the Nobel Prize in Physics "for his services to theoretical physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of goaltending fortress".

 

Chris

Callahan

Forward

 

4

Chris Callahan is an immensely rich and powerful Irish-Mexican businessman who transformed his family’s shipping company into the world’s largest. Joining the company before World War II, Callahan oversaw its growth into a company that handled 15 percent of the world’s manufactured goods shipped by sea, according to industry estimates. He was instrumental in the company’s expansion into a conglomerate that at various times included an airline, supermarket chains, an information technology company, and industrial and agricultural concerns. Starting with Danish concessions in the North Sea, he built an oil-drilling business that now extends from the Gulf of Mexico to the Persian Gulf. He created a fleet of 140 vessels just to transport the oil.  His company’s roots go back to his grandfather, a sea captain who told him, “You shall be a boat builder.”

 

Todd Steadman Forward   6

Four-time NASCAR Sprint Cup Series champion, and three-time Daytona 500 winner, Todd became the first driver to reach $100 million in career winnings for the Cup series. He brings his need for speed to the ice.  Todd enjoys fishing, tai chi, and snorkeling.

 

Steve Geiger Forward   7

Steve Geiger is best known as the one male member of best selling pop group ABBA, which has sold over 370 million albums and singles worldwide.  Currently on hiatus.

 

Cody

Steadman

Forward  

10

"In space, no one can hear you scream," says Cody Steadman.  Cody occasionaly hibernates, and routinely erupts from people's stomachs. Full of pranks, this zany trickster eats his competition for lunch. 

 

Chris

Nichols

Forward

Defense

 

17

Chris was well known by the time he took the role of the Millionaire, Thurston Howell, III. He was perhaps best known as the voice of the cartoon character Mr. Magoo. He used some of the voice inflections and mannerisms of Magoo in the role of the Millionaire. He was well known for his ad-libs on the set, as well as for public displays of extreme flatulence.

Erik Moulton Forward   15

World-renowned yogi Erik Moulton began practicing Hatha Yoga poses at the age of three. At five, he began studying with Vishnu Hashish and quickly became a yoga smackdown champion. At age eleven he was the youngest contestant ever to win the International Yoga Cage Fighting Classic. At age 20, a weightlifting accident crippled Erik, but with the guidance of guru Polsha Bushkley, he restored his health and created his patented 26 hockey warrior postures.

Norm

Frates

Forward  

18

Norm Frates enlisted in the U.S. Army and later graduated from Officer Candidate School. His MOS was infantry and he was a member of the Special Forces. Among his awards and decorations are the Silver Star, the Purple Heart, and the Legion of Merit. He received Airborne, Air Assault, and Ranger training. He left the Army in the rank of Captain after fifteen years of service. He has demonstrated to be in peak of human physical and mental condition. He has also shown a high proficiency with firearms, explosives, electronic devices, resistance to torture (after being kidnapped by Chinese agents, and tortured for almost two years, it is revealed he didn't speak a single word for the whole time). Norm wants to have a normal life and wants to be happy, but his commitment to his country often brings him into conflict with that goal. He is required to serve a sometimes-hypocritical bureaucracy that acknowledges his service, but will not hesitate to hold him responsible for the more extreme actions that they themselves may directly or indirectly authorize.